Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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k. everyone

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.