I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.