i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.