Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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listen to madonnas new album

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.