Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Picking my nose.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.