Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.