Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Courtesy flush.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Talk to my cat.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.