Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Think about breathing...

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.