pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Talk to my cat.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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Sometimes I toot.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Picking my nose.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.