when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.