When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.