worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Ur mum

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.