A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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I chew my ice cream.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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I hit the frig after sex

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.