When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Poo really loud

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.