Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.