pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Boinked my neighbor

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Being fat

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.