When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Mayada stupid

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.