After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.