Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Picking my nose.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.