- Things You Think Only You Do

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

call someone by a siblings name.

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

I Masturbate Daily.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.