When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

thumb_up thumb_down

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

thumb_up thumb_down

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sometimes I toot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

thumb_up thumb_down -32

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.