as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.