- Things You Think Only You Do

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

check shower for murder then pee

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.