Be a loner at school

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.