Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.