OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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I hit the frig after sex

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.