brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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k. everyone

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.