go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

Go for a 10 mile run.

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.