go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.