When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.