When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Think about breathing...

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.