Mayada stupid

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.