Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Being fat

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I **** with no hands.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.