Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.