When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

thumb_up thumb_down -7

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -15

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

thumb_up thumb_down -15

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -15

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

thumb_up thumb_down -17

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.