Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.