thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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I read the down voted posts

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.