Be a loner at school

thumb_up thumb_down -29

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

thumb_up thumb_down -45

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -73

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.