Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.