Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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i masturbate with my feet

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.