Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Smoking in the shower.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.