Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Do somthing only you do

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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i masturbate with my feet

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.