1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.