log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.