turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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I was the real Stig...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.