- Things You Think Only You Do

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

I was not born in the country I am living in now

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.