the power to regenerate your appendix

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I think about other women when having sex

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.