Use my phone to see what time it is

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.