Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Be a loner at school

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.