After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.