- Things You Think Only You Do

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! end of special message just for you

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.