You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.