I piss in the bed every night

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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I read the down voted posts

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.