Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.