Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.