Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.