I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Mayada stupid

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.