Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.