I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I never feel bored

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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check shower for murder then pee

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.