Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

wonder who wrote these things

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I rehearse arguments in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.