Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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Courtesy flush.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.