think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.