think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

i would air drum even if theres no music playing

I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.