I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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I pee in the shower. :3

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.