join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Take baths

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.