- Things You Think Only You Do

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

Avoid as many television commercials as I can

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

misread dig bick

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

call someone by a siblings name.

Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.