Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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wonder who wrote these things

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.