Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.