that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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I mean Diana Ross.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.